Never Give Up On Anything That Makes You Happy
by cpdfan4
Summary: Just a little Linstead two-shot to get you through this mini-hiatus!
1. Chapter 1

Not really thrilled with how this came out, but I was rewatching some old episodes trying to survive this CPD drought and decided to write something.

I own nothing, enjoy!

xoxoxoxoxo

"Er?" Jay stood at his partner's desk in the now empty bullpen; everyone, even Voight, had filtered out in the past half hour as Erin sat at her desk, pretending to be engrossed in a case file but completely lost in her thoughts. "You good?"

Her partner's voice broke her from her trance and Erin's head shot up to meet his blue eyes that were clouded with concern. "Uh, yeah, sorry. Thought I had something here. Where is everyone?"

"They left. They said goodbye, but I'm guessing you didn't hear them?" Jay raised an eyebrow, the concerned look not leaving his face.

Erin shrugged. "Must've been too wrapped up in the case. You can go, I'll lock up." She closed the file on her desk and shut down her computer, standing up to get her keys from the locker room. She brushed past Jay and prayed he would leave without an interrogation, but he grabbed her arm before she could get by.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I told you I'm fine," she said defensively, pulling her arm away and continuing on her way to the locker room. Jay sighed, unsure of whether or not to follow her. She had been acting weird all day and he was positive it wasn't because of the case, but he also knew if he pushed her any more she would completely shut down. He settled on leaving her alone in the locker room but decided he'd walk her out to her car – even if she wouldn't tell him what was bothering her, he had to make sure she was okay.

He heard the locker room door slam and Erin reappeared in front of him. "I told you to leave, you didn't have to wait for me," she tried to sound annoyed but was secretly thankful he cared enough to wait around.

"I still worry about you even when you don't tell me what I'm worrying about, Lindsay. I could hear you thinking all day," Jay told her as they walked down the bullpen steps and into the cold Chicago night.

"I'm fine-" Before Erin could once again finish her lie, her cellphone began to ring in her back pocket. She grabbed it and groaned when she saw the caller ID, quickly rejecting the call.

"Who was that?"

"Why do you ask so many damn questions, Halstead? I'll see you tomorrow," she snapped before storming off to her car and driving away, leaving Jay shaking his head in the parking lot.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

As she got in her car, Erin cursed herself for taking her anger and confusion out on Jay. It wasn't his fault that Bunny was once again trying to work her way back into Erin's life and it certainly wasn't his fault that Erin didn't know how to talk about it. She quickly drove to her apartment and made her way inside, thankful for the quiet. She changed into sweatpants, grabbed a beer from her fridge, and settled onto her couch, excited to mindlessly watch a movie to shut off her brain.

She flipped channels and finally landed on _The Hangover_ ; the thought of watching anything relatively romantic at the moment made her sick. She couldn't believe Bunny was getting married _again._ At this point, Erin had lost count of her mother's husbands and she hadn't even been invited to all of the weddings. She once again tried to focus on the comedy on her TV screen but failed miserably, eventually picking up her phone and reading through all of the text message invitations Bunny had sent her that week.

A knock on her door broke Erin from her thoughts and she rolled her eyes. No one in their right mind would come knocking on her door at almost 10 at night – so it was probably a drunk Bunny coming to ask Erin why she wasn't answering her messages. She considered ignoring it but the knocking just grew harder.

"I'm coming!" she yelled angrily, whipping the door open, "I already told you-" she began, but when she looked up it wasn't Bunny standing in front of her, but rather her partner.

"Peace offering?" he held up a bag of Chinese takeout and a six-pack of her favorite beer and Erin felt every ounce of annoyance melt away.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, stepping aside to let him into her apartment. Even in baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt with her hair up in a bun, Jay couldn't help but realize how damn beautiful she was.

Jay decided to not ask who she'd thought he was in order to avoid her snapping at him as she had an hour ago. As much as he wanted to know what her problem was, his priority tonight was just to make sure that she was _okay._

They silently made their way around her kitchen, fixing their plates before making their way back out to Erin's living room. Jay sat down first and Erin lay across the couch, her cold feet on his lap; their usual position during movie nights. The movie was still on and they both focused their attention on it, neither of them having said a word. Despite Erin's outburst and attitude, it wasn't an awkward silence – that's what Erin loved about Jay (other than his piercing blue eyes, goofy smile, and ridiculously hot body). He always knew when she needed him, even if she couldn't quite admit it herself and he never let her push him away.

As the ending credits began to roll, Erin finally spoke up. "My mom's getting married again," she said quietly.

Surprised, Jay turned towards her, the events of the day suddenly making sense.

"She wants me to come to the wedding. I don't think she told her fiancé she hasn't seen me in five years," she continued, tears welling in her eyes due to frustration. "And I feel so stupid for wanting to go, because I think she's changed. But deep down I know that they'll be divorced in six months and she'll forget I exist again,"

Jay lifted Erin's feet from his lap and put them on the floor so she was sitting up, then he pulled her into him. "You're not stupid, Er. You just want to believe that everyone has of as an amazing heart as you do,"

Erin lifted her head from his chest so she could look him in the eyes. "What should I do?" she asked him.

"I can't tell you that. No one is going to blame you if you don't go. No one is going to judge you if you do go. Do whatever will make you happy."

"Will you come with me?" she blurted out, before she even realized what she was asking. "Oh my God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Jay put his finger over his lip to get her to stop rambling. "If that makes it easier, of course I will. That's what partners are for, Er."

She laid her head back down on his chest as her mind cleared for the first time all day. "Thank you," she whispered into his shirt, and they both knew she meant for a lot more than agreeing to go to a wedding.


	2. Chapter 2

Jay knocked on Erin's apartment door and laughed as he heard her knock over something and curse on the other side. The door swung open and Jay's breath caught in his throat when he saw his partner, looking absolutely stunning in a short green dress that brought out her eyes.

"Keep it in your pants, Halstead," she joked to cover up her nervousness. "I need to finish getting ready. Make yourself comfortable, I'll be out in five!" she yelled over her shoulder as she ran back to her bedroom.

Once she was out of sight, Jay took a deep breath. Since their conversation that night, they hadn't discussed the wedding. She had just told him to be at her apartment by 5 on Saturday night, and here he was. Was he supposed to be pretending to be her boyfriend? Was she going to say they were just friends? Would she tell the truth and say they were partners at work?

He heard the clicking of heels coming down the hallway and quickly pulled himself together. "Really Er, you look amazing."

Erin blushed and shook her head. "You clean up pretty nice yourself. Now let's get this over with." She reached for his hand to lead him out of the apartment and Jay felt the electricity the second their skin touched. His partner was going to be the death of him.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"You sure you want to do this?" Jay asked her as they neared the doors to the reception venue.

"No," Erin said quietly. "But I think I have to."

"No matter what, I got your back." Jay promised, opening the door for her.

"I know you do,"

As they walked into the banquet hall, Erin scanned the crowd for a familiar face but couldn't find a single person she recognized. Uncomfortable, she reached beside her to grab Jay's hand and he squeezed hers reassuringly. They found their table, a small one in the back corner of the venue.

"Priority seating," Erin mumbled, throwing her bag down on to the table.

Jay looked at her, the concern clouding his eyes as it had two weeks ago when she first found out about the wedding.

"I'm fine," she promised before he could say anything. "Let's go get a drink."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Why do you look so nervous? Shouldn't I be the one freaking out here?" Erin asked Jay, who was nervously tearing the wrapper off of his beer bottle.

"It's just what you do to me, Erin Lindsay." Jay admitted. They both blushed as Erin signaled the bartender for another drink. She hated that they were in this situation. She hated that he cared so much about her. She hated that Hank had his stupid in house romance rules.

For many reasons, Erin had lost count of how many whiskeys she'd knocked back by the time Bunny and her latest husband finally came to greet her.

"Erin, darling!" the woman ran up to Erin and engulfed her in a huge hug, but Erin was too unsteady to fight. "This is my husband Johnny. Johnny, this is my beautiful daughter Erin."

Erin whispered something under her breath but was once again interrupted by Bunny. "Are you going to introduce us to your date?"

Erin walked back over to Jay and wrapped her arms around him. "This is my-…Jay. My Jay." She repeated. "Jay, this is my mother and husband number five? Six?" she slurred.

Bunny's jaw dropped and she grabbed Johnny's arm and led him to the next guests, leaving Erin mid-introduction and still wrapped around Jay. While Jay was disappointed Erin hadn't pretended he was her boyfriend, he couldn't help but smile at the way she had called him " _My_ Jay", even if she was blackout drunk and wouldn't remember a moment of this in the morning.

"Maybe we should get you home, Er." He suggested, planting a kiss on the top of her head as she still held on to him for dear life.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Erin fell asleep on Jay's shoulder in the taxi on the way back to her apartment. Jay carried her up the stairs and tucked her into her bed before heading back into her kitchen to get her a glass of water and some Advil to leave out for the morning. When he got back into her room, she was awake again and sat up when she saw him enter.

"I shouldn't have gone tonight," she rasped, tears filling her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, putting the glass down then sitting down at the foot of her bed.

"I made such a fool out of myself, and I was so mean to him. I don't even _know_ him but I feel so bad for him, because she's going to take all of his money and divorce him and he doesn't even know and I was just so mean to him-" The tears began to fall and before she knew what she was doing, she crawled down the bed and into Jay's arms, once again burying her head in his chest. Her safe place.

"Shhhh" Jay rubbed her back, trying to calm her down, but between her mom, her mood, and the alcohol, it was a lost cause. Eventually she cried herself back to sleep and Jay laid her head back on the pillow, tucking her in for the second time that night. He turned the lamp next to her bed off and was just about to leave when he heard her voice break through the darkness.

"Stay," she almost whispered, rolling herself to the other side of the bed to make room. Jay looked at the beautiful, broken girl lying in front of him, _needing him,_ and suddenly didn't care if he was breaking 100 of Hank's rules. He unbuttoned his shirt and lay down next to her as she immediately rolled back to his side and buried her head in his chest, falling back to sleep instantly.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Erin awoke the next morning to a pounding in her head. She was terrified to open her eyes and be blinded by the light pouring in through her windows, but she felt an arm around her body and her eyes shot open.

She looked to her side and saw her sleeping partner holding her protectively and couldn't help but smile as memories of the night before came back to her. Obviously she could've done without humiliating her mom's new husband, finishing an entire bottle of whiskey herself, and breaking down, but she had asked Jay to stay. And he had. _Her Jay._ She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before snuggling back into his chest, needing the warmth.

His eyes opened at the feel of her lips and he was shocked, to say the least. He figured she would have kicked him out by dawn, either scared that she hadn't remembered the night before or embarrassed that she had. "Good morning," he whispered into her hair.

"Hi," she mumbled into his bare chest before sitting up. She took in his goofy smile and bedhead and couldn't help but smile herself. "Thank you for last night."

"That's why you have backup," he smirked, still unsure if she remembered anything from the night before.

"I have the best backup, _my Jay,"_ she almost whispered, confirming that she in fact, did recall the wedding. "But he'd be better if he made me breakfast…"

Despite the obvious sexual tension between them, Jay was never completely sure how Erin felt about him. There was one point when he was positive the feelings were reciprocated, then he had walked into Molly's one night to see her on a date with Kelly Severide. But that hadn't lasted long, and now, for some reason, something as simple as her remembering the endearing nickname she'd given him the night before.

"Well then get up, lazy," he joked, pulling the covers off of her as he got out of her bed and made his way into the kitchen.

He was almost done cooking when Erin finally made her way out of her bedroom. She sat on the counter next to the stove and watched her partner make her breakfast, a million thoughts running through her mind.

"I owe you an apology," she started.

"For what?" Jay raised an eyebrow as he flipped a pancake.

"One, for making you go to that wedding. Two, for becoming inebriated at said wedding. Three, for making you stay here last night-"

"Hey," Jay cut her off. "There was no where I would have rather been last night, and there's definitely nowhere I'd rather be right now-"

Now it was Erin's turn to cut him off, and she did so by crashing her lips against his. He was shocked at first but quickly recovered. The kiss was quick, but it had everything – the apologies, the concern, the tension, the lust, the _love._

"There's really no other way to thank you. And not just for the wedding, for everything. For the last two years. For sticking by me when no one else did and for always believing me when I gave you every reason not to. For not caring about my past and for not pushing me to talk about it. For being the best back up imaginable. For knowing I wasn't okay, even when I insisted that I was…" Erin took a deep breath. "I know Voight has a rule against in-house romance, but when I was growing up he had another rule: never give up on anything that makes you happy. That's what he used to tell me when I'd be crying over academy exams or when I'd come home from long days of training ready to quit. And guess what? I know I've been running from it, but you make me pretty damn happy. So I guess Voight's just gonna have to deal with it. After all, he can't break his own rule."


End file.
